idea
In a interaction with someone, a stimulus can provoke an emotional response. The emotional response is natural, especially in cases where the stimulus is upsetting, overwhelming.
Remaining on the emotional response, or responding emotionally can take the form of acting out of pride, out of anger, taking revenge, keeping grudge, apathy, or on the opposite the halo effect and such. It can lead to detrimental results, such as not picking the right option, deteriorating relations, negative consequences, etc.
The goal then is to detect, identify and understand the emotion, accept it, and restore rational thinking rapidly, so that the response can be thought out rather than just the result of emotions.
If others react with an emotional response, welcome the emotion, which cannot be controlled ; but encourage the understanding of that emotion and a rational response to it.
links
Personal responsibility (#1) - you're in charge, including of switching from an emotional to a rational response.
Meditation is supposed to help identify the emotion and decouple it from the reaction.
Radical Candor is a way to welcome emotions by caring personally, and respond rationally by challenging directly.
Transactional analysis has the notion of the Child, which is how the ego feels emotions and needs care ; and the Adult, which thinks rationally. The goal of TA is to help develop Adult transactions.
references
- Kim Scott / Radical candor -
Acknowledge emotions. Emotional reactions can offer important clues to help you better understand what’s really going on with the people you manage. They can offer you a shortcut to the heart of the matter. So don’t respond to outbursts or sullen silences by pretending they are not happening. Don’t try to mitigate them by saying things like, “It’s not personal,” or “Let’s be professional.” Instead say, “I can see you’re mad/frustrated/elated/____”
~ Kim Scott. Radical Candor