#habit-1 #personal-development #principles
Idea
You're in charge, and responsible for your life and what happens to you. Be proactive.
Be the change you want to be.
Assume your mistakes, take responsibility and fix them.
You are the one who can and should change, whether it's fair or not. There is no jury listening to your plea, no-one who will reach a verdict and condemn others to change. You might collect some sympathy strokes, others might feel sorry, but ultimately the only one who can change is you.
Links
It is your responsibility to maintain P/PC Balance
Recognize responsibility early when something wrong happen, see Harakiri
Reference
The 7 habits of highly effective people, principle #1: proactivity
My notes:
Proactivity is opposed to reactivity. It presupposes that one recognize they are in charge and responsible for their lives and what happen to them, rather than be victims of others. Vocabulary of proactive people is centered on them (I), vocabulary of reactive is focused on others (they).
People have centers of influence, being proactive is helping expending them.
Human freedom involves our capacity to pause between stimulus and response and, in that pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight
~ Rollo May, The courage to create
Rephrased:
Between what happened to him, or the stimulus, and his response to it, was his freedom or power to choose that response.
~ Stephen R. Covey about Viktor Frankl, 7 Habits of highly effective people
The rule #2 of 12 rules for life: Treat yourself as if you were someone you were responsible for helping.
the better ideas / locus of control is a fancy name to say "you're in control, not the external factors". The video is a good introduction tho.
[1]: Randy Patterson / justice vs change (Original)
Clients often feel misused—by their boss, their spouse, their family, their friends, and/or their society. They point out that: “None of this is my fault, so I shouldn’t have to be the one to change.”
In effect, our client is operating from a justice model. It is as though they are pleading their case before a court, and the party ultimately found guilty will be the one who is forced to change.